Dialog comparison

Arilou | Kohr-Ah | Chmmr | Commander | Druuge | Ilwrath | Melnorme | Mycon | Orz | Pkunk | Rebels | Shofixti | Slylandro | Probes | Safe Ones | Spathi | StarBase | Supox | Syreen | Talking Pet | Thraddash | Umgah | Kzer-Za | Utwig | VUX | Yehat | Zoq-Fot-Pik

DOS	UQM
Attention big, mean, hostile alien vessel hovering overhead in an obvious attack posture: This is Spathi Captain Fwiffo. I know you are going to torture me, so let's just get this over with right now. The coordinates of my homeworld, Spathiwa, are 241.6 : 368.7 and the ultra-secret Spathi Cypher, which is known only by me and several billion other Spathi is `Huffi-Muffi-Guffi'. Sorry about that little mistake with your landing vehicle! I was so startled when it approached my vessel in a threatening manner that er my automated defense systems fired on it when it got too close. I hope nobody got hurt!	Attention big, mean, hostile alien vessel hovering overhead in an obvious attack posture: This is Spathi Captain Fwiffo. I know you are going to torture me, so let's just get this over with right now. The coordinates of my homeworld, Spathiwa, are 241.6, 368.7 and the ultra-secret Spathi Cypher, which is known only by me and several billion other Spathi is `Huffi-Muffi-Guffi'. Sorry about that little mistake with your landing vehicle! I was so startled when it approached my vessel in a threatening manner that er my automated defense systems fired on it when it got too close. I hope nobody got hurt!
Attention alien vessel: Identify yourself or be destroyed!	Attention alien vessel: Identify yourself or be destroyed!
Of course, of course! As I said, I am Captain Fwiffo of the Spathi voidship StarRunner. Our sensors have tracked your entry into this system which you are no doubt here to conquer and while you are certainly welcome to do so we would be greatly appreciative if you would please just go away and forget this star system ever existed. If you don't go, it will greatly complicate our master-slave relationship with the Ur-Quan who stationed us here to watch over the Earthlings.	Of course, of course! As I said, I am Captain Fwiffo of the Spathi voidship StarRunner. Our sensors have tracked your entry into this system which you are no doubt here to conquer and while you are certainly welcome to do so we would be greatly appreciative if you would please just go away and forget this star system ever existed. If you don't go, it will greatly complicate our master-slave relationship with the Ur-Quan who stationed us here to watch over the Earthlings.
Hi there friend! We come in peace and mean you no harm.	Hi there friend! We come in peace and mean you no harm.
Are you sure? Because your statement is often just a more polite way of saying `Attention alien vessel: Identify yourself or be destroyed.' In any event, I am Spathi Captain Fwiffo of the voidship StarRunner placed here in this planetary system as part of the powerful Earthguard star force which our masters the Ur-Quan established here to make sure the Earthlings don't do anything tricky.	Are you sure? Because your statement is often just a more polite way of saying `Attention alien vessel: Identify yourself or be destroyed.' In any event, I am Spathi Captain Fwiffo of the voidship StarRunner placed here in this planetary system as part of the powerful Earthguard star force which our masters the Ur-Quan established here to make sure the Earthlings don't do anything tricky.
Don't kill us!	Don't kill us!
You attacked our lander -- killed our crew! Prepare to die.	You attacked our lander -- killed our crew! Prepare to die.
Enough of your slimy yammering. We fight!	Enough of your slimy yammering. We fight!
Uh, okay... sure, we won't! Just remember though -- this offer may be revoked at any time.	Uh, okay... sure, we won't! Just remember though -- this offer may be revoked at any time.
We suggest you immediately perform whatever cultural practices are customary to your species preceding death.	We suggest you immediately perform whatever cultural practices are customary to your species preceding death.
Certainly, most gracious destroyer, as is well known, before departing this mortal helix all Spathi must complete the short, poignant ritual of Wezzy-Wezzah to be assured of a secure afterlife and by allowing us to fulfill this requirement, you too shall be granted immortality in our beautiful afterworld which is absolutely guaranteed to be free of similarly immortal monsters who would otherwise eat the both of us.	Certainly, most gracious destroyer, as is well known, before departing this mortal helix all Spathi must complete the short, poignant ritual of Wezzy-Wezzah to be assured of a secure afterlife and by allowing us to fulfill this requirement, you too shall be granted immortality in our beautiful afterworld which is absolutely guaranteed to be free of similarly immortal monsters who would otherwise eat the both of us.
Die slugboy!	Die slugboy!
You may begin your ritual, and if I might make a small suggestion: be done in less than 2 minutes.	You may begin your ritual, and if I might make a small suggestion: be done in less than 2 minutes.
Grief and woe -- certainly a destroyer of innocents as well-travelled as yourself must know that the formalities of Wezzy-Wezzah are invalid unless performed on the large moon orbiting our homeworld, Spathiwa which is only 143 light years distant, and, if I remember correctly, is especially beautiful this time of year. Shall we go there now?	Grief and woe -- certainly a destroyer of innocents as well-travelled as yourself must know that the formalities of Wezzy-Wezzah are invalid unless performed on the large moon orbiting our homeworld, Spathiwa which is only 143 light years distant, and, if I remember correctly, is especially beautiful this time of year. Shall we go now there?
Because I am compassionate, you will not die until you have exhausted your usefulness.	Because I am compassionate, you will not die until you have exhausted your usefulness.
My eternal gratitude is yours, oh devastator of helpless beings. It's times like these that I am forced to feel almost, though not quite, sorry that the Ur-Quan so thoroughly defeated and humiliated your species.	My eternal gratitude is yours, oh devastator of helpless beings. It's times like these that I am forced to feel almost, though not quite, sorry that the Ur-Quan so thoroughly defeated and humiliated your species.
We fight!	We fight!
Now you must pay for the crimes of your craven masters, the evil Ur-Quan.	Now you must pay for the crimes of your craven masters, the evil Ur-Quan.
In this difficult situation I am reminded of what my clutch maven once said to me before my first molting. `Sometimes the enemy is so swift and the path so treacherous that you can run no further. It is then that you must turn and resolve to fight and in all likelihood die horribly but you never know when you are going to get lucky, so go for it!'	In this difficult situation I am reminded of what my clutch maven once said to me before my first molting. `Sometimes the enemy is so swift and the path so treacherous that you can run no further. It is then that you must turn and resolve to fight and in all likelihood die horribly but you never know when you are going to get lucky, so go for it!'
I find myself moved by your deep commitment to your rituals and ancestral ways. You may live.	I find myself moved by your deep commitment to your rituals and ancestral ways. You may live.
That settles it, for now I am certain that you are an honest and friendly being who is forced entirely through unfortunate circumstance - the unreasonable hostility of the Universe to travel the galaxy in a ship which, according to my sensors is best suited for conducting planetary-scale genocide.	That settles it, for now I am certain that you are an honest and friendly being who is forced entirely through unfortunate circumstance - the unreasonable hostility of the Universe to travel the galaxy in a ship which, according to my sensors is best suited to conducting planetary-scale genocide.
We'd be delighted to accompany you to your homeworld. What are its HyperSpace coordinates?	We'd be delighted to accompany you to your homeworld. What are its HyperSpace coordinates?
My most wonderful planet Spathiwa circles a safe distance from the orange giant star Yuffo which is at HyperSpace coordinates hey -- wait a minute! Is this some kind of Homosap trick to get the location of my homeworld so that you can visit it with devastation?!	My most wonderful planet Spathiwa circles a safe distance from the orange giant star Yuffo which is at HyperSpace coordinates hey -- wait a minute! Is this some kind of Homosap trick to get the location of my homeworld so that you can visit it with devastation?!
Just tell me the coordinates, alien dog-slime!	Just tell me the coordinates, alien dog-slime!
Hmmm... I see Very well then, your threats have convinced me to reveal this secret Spathiwa is the 1st planet out from the star at HyperSpace (570.4, 979.5)	Hmmm... I see Very well then, your threats have convinced me to reveal this secret. Spathiwa is the 1st planet out from the star at HyperSpace (570.4, 979.5)
You've got so many ships in your fleet, that instead of joining you I think I'll just run away.	You've got so many ships in your fleet, that instead of joining you I think I'll just run away.
No, no, no! You've got me all wrong. I promise I'll be nice.	No, no, no! You've got me all wrong. I promise I'll be nice.
Er... I just don't know. I want to believe you, I really do, but the risk to my people is just too great. Anyway I think I just forgot the coordinates -- let me see if I can remember them nope! I'm afraid they're gone forever, so torturing me would just be a waste of your time.	Er... I just don't know. I want to believe you, I really do, but the risk to my people is just too great. Anyway I think I just forgot the coordinates -- let me see if I can remember them nope! I'm afraid they're gone forever, so torturing me would just be a waste of your time.
What are you doing here on Pluto?	What are you doing here on Pluto?
About 20 years ago, this region of space was dominated by a loose confederation known as the Alliance of Free Stars, which was composed of the aliens native to these parts who didn't want to be enslaved. They made a valiant effort against the superior Ur-Quan forces and it even looked like they might miraculously defeat the combined Ur-Quan armada right up to the point at which the Ur-Quan totally defeated - indeed, annihilated them.	About 20 years ago, this region of space was dominated by a loose confederation known as the Alliance of Free Stars, which was composed of the aliens native to these parts who didn't want to be enslaved. They made a valiant effort against the superior Ur-Quan forces and it even looked like they might miraculously defeat the combined Ur-Quan armada right up to the point at which the Ur-Quan totally defeated - indeed, annihilated them.
So, what ARE you doing here on Pluto?	So, what ARE you doing here on Pluto?
When the Ur-Quan armada entered this system to subjugate formally the Earthlings, the Ur-Quan presented the hunams with the standard slave options: join the Hierarchy as combat thralls, and retain some autonomy, including the right to travel through space or become a 'fallow' species and return to pre-atomic savagery on the surface of their homeworld encased for all time beneath an impenetrable force shield. The Hunams chose the latter option, and so were swiftly imprisoned on the surface of Earth but the Ur-Quan didn't trust them to obey the restrictions...so they chose a small group of Hierarchy combat starships from the Ilwrath and Spathi fleets to serve as the so-called Earthguard, and stationed them at a base on Earth's moon.	When the Ur-Quan armada entered this system to subjugate formally the Earthlings, the Ur-Quan presented the humans with the standard slave options: join the Hierarchy as combat thralls, and retain some autonomy, including the right to travel through space or become a 'fallow' species and return to pre-atomic savagery on the surface of their homeworld encased for all time beneath an impenetrable force shield. The Humans chose the latter option, and so were swiftly imprisoned on the surface of Earth but the Ur-Quan didn't trust them to obey the restrictions...so they chose a small group of Hierarchy combat starships from the Ilwrath and Spathi fleets to create the so-called Earthguard, and stationed them at a base on Earth's moon.
Where are the Ur-Quan now?	Where are the Ur-Quan now?
Our masters don't really keep us very well informed about their goings on so all that we know is that immediately after the subjugation of the last Alliance race the Yehat, I think the Ur-Quan gathered their dreadnoughts and departed coreward commanding us to obey the slave laws or face their wrath when they returned.	Our masters don't really keep us very well informed about their goings on so all that we know is that immediately after the subjugation of the last Alliance race the Yehat, I think the Ur-Quan gathered their dreadnoughts and departed towards the edge of the galaxy commanding us to obey the slave laws or face their wrath when they returned.
Do you know anything about other alien races?	Do you know anything about other alien races?
We know only bits and pieces of what happened to each race; for instance, when defeated, the Yehat joined the Hierarchy as combat thralls, while the Syreen chose to be slave shielded on a planet in the BugSquirt star system. No, that's not right -- I forget its name, anyway where was I? Oh yes, the Shofixti! They were utterly wiped out in a gigantic 'blaze of glory'.	We know only bits and pieces of what happened to each race; for instance, when defeated, the Yehat joined the Hierarchy as combat thralls, while the Syreen chose to be slave shielded on a planet in the BugSquirt star system. No, that's not right -- I forget it's name, anyway where was I? Oh yes, the Shofixti! They were utterly wiped out in a gigantic 'blaze of glory'.
TELL ME what you are doing on Pluto, NOW!	TELL ME what you are doing on Pluto, NOW!
What about yourself, Fwiffo?	What about yourself, Fwiffo?
Me? You mean me, personally? How nice of you to ask! I was born a poor, green encrustling, the youngest child of a family of 18,487. My male parent had to work hard to support us, very hard but each of my brothers and sisters and I tried to help out to make ends meet. The female parent was kind and sweet to all of us. Why, she once even called me by NAME; she said `Fwiffo! Fwiffo darling! Would you please answer the door? I think someone's there.' What a treat! A golden memory. I swiftly matured into a fine example of my species and with my parents' assistance, achieved independence. Specifically, they pried me from the doorjamb, and rolled me into the street. Thus prepared, I set out to make my fortune. I had great dreams in those days, yes, great dreams! I knew that someday I would be vastly rich, wealthy enough to afford a large, well-fortified mansion. Surrounding my mansion would be vast tracts of land, through which I could slide at any time I wished! Of course, one can never be too sure that there aren't monsters hiding just behind the next bush so I would plant trees to climb at regular, easy to reach intervals. And being a Spathi of the World, I would know that some monsters climb trees, though often not well so I would have my servants place in each tree a basket of perfect stones not too heavy, not too light -- just the right size for throwing at monsters. I was thinking about what color the stones would be painted (aqua, mauve or magenta) when a vegetable cart came careening down the street outside my house, and knocked me unconscious. When I awoke, I was aboard the voidship StarRunner, heading for Earth. Apparently I had been out of my head for quite some time after the accident and with the assistance of some kind strangers had been relieved of my funds and convinced to join the navy where I have been unpleasantly employed for the last 25 years.	Me? You mean me, personally? How nice of you to ask! I was born a poor, green encrustling, the youngest child of a family of 18,487. My male parent had to work hard to support us, very hard but each of my brothers and sisters and I tried to help out to make ends meet. The female parent was kind and sweet to all of us. Why, she once even called me by NAME; she said `Fwiffo! Fwiffo darling! Would you please answer the door? I think someone's there.' What a treat! A golden memory. I swiftly matured into a fine example of my species, with my parents' assistance, achieved independence. Specifically, they pried me from the doorjamb, and rolled me into the street. Thus prepared, I set out to make my fortune. I had great dreams in those days, yes, great dreams! I knew that someday I would be vastly rich, wealthy enough to afford a large, well-fortified mansion. Surrounding my mansion would be vast tracts of land, through which I could slide at any time I wished! Of course, one can never be too sure that there aren't monsters hiding just behind the next bush so I would plant trees to climb at regular, easy to reach intervals. And being a Spathi of the World, I would know that some monsters climb trees, though often not well so I would have my servants place in each tree a basket of perfect stones not too heavy, not too light -- just the right size for throwing at monsters. I was thinking about what color the stones would be painted (aqua, mauve or magenta) when a vegetable cart came careening down the street outside my house, and knocked me unconscious. When I awoke, I was aboard the voidship StarRunner, headed for Earth. Apparently I had been out of my head for quite some time after the accident and with the assistance of some kind strangers had been relieved of my funds and convinced to join the navy where I have been unpleasantly employed for the last 25 years.
Originally, we were stationed on Earth's moon, which made us Spathi a bit uneasy because with each passing day we grew more and more worried about the sneaky Earthlings making a surprise attack though the Ilwrath kept telling us that was impossible since the Earthlings had no ships or weapons whatsoever. That made us feel a bit better, but when the Ilwrath left, we again grew fearful and decided to make a strategic redeployment to Mars. Later on we decided it would be prudent to relocate to Jupiter's moon, Ganymede then later Saturn's moon, Titan and finally here to Pluto.	Originally, we were stationed on Earth's moon, which made us Spathi a bit uneasy because with each passing day we grew more and more worried about the sneaky Earthlings making a surprise attack though the Ilwrath kept telling us that was impossible since the Earthlings had no ships or weapons whatsoever. That made us feel a bit better, but when the Ilwrath left, again we grew fearful and decided to make a strategic redeployment to Mars. Later on we decided it would be prudent to relocate to Jupiter's moon, Ganymede then later Saturn's moon, Titan and finally here to Pluto.